Since becoming chronically ill in 2011, there's been many things that have, and would have made my day. From simple messages, to thoughtful gifts. Here, you'll find my list of 30 Things to Make The Day of Someone Chronically Ill.
1. Deliver a meal. Make sure to ask in advance if they have any dietary restrictions or are following any guidelines. Stay for a visit, or just drop off the food if they're not up for it. Sometimes those who are chronically ill, aren't up to preparing even a slice of toast for themselves, having someone drop off a meal, is always greatly appreciated.
2. Send a quick email, text, or message saying you're thinking of them.
3. Add "No need to respond" to the end of your message - having people in your life, understanding that you sometimes aren't up to responding can make a huge difference. Feeling like we have to respond, because someone doesn't understand how difficult it can be to move our fingers, always makes it easier for us to then have a warmer response when we are up to it.
4. Add "Feel free to take me up on this offer whenever" when you offer help - This is always a wonderful thing to hear. Sometimes we may feel horrible for needing help, so may reject it at first, or we may feel we don't need it right then, but knowing the offer is still sincere whenever we need means we may not be as worried if something comes up that we do need help with.
5. Send a text the next time you're at the grocery store and ask if they'd like you to pick anything up. - This always gives me a warm feeling of gratitude. Just having that offer,
6. Set a calendar alert reminding you to check in with a quick hello or offer of help on a regular basis. - Sometimes, as someone suffering a chronic illness, people sort of forget about me. If I'm not seen in person for a while, or haven't started a conversation via some type of message for a short period of time, I will find people no longer will contact me.
7. Send a housekeeper to clean up their place. Take care of the details so they just need to be there to open the door, or surprise them, (if they have given you a spare key) and have their place cleaned while they are at a treatment or long medical appointment
8. Send a text the next time you're at the pharmacy to see if they need any prescriptions - Sometimes picking up prescriptions, vitamins, well any medication, can be very difficult for us. This will help us dearly with our treatment, and take one of our worries off our chest.
9. Send a mobile masseuse for a gift massage. - Of course if they would enjoy this. It may be a good idea to check the masseuse has a basic understanding of any physical issues we may have.
10. Offer to take them out for a coffee or lunch date. - Sometimes, we get so used to people no longer asking us out due to being ill, we never go out, for anything except medical appointments, and groceries. Every time a friend has taken me out, has made my world
11. Offer to take them out to a movie. - If they're too tired, come by with a rental.
12. Offer a ride to treatment or appointments and keep them company. - Even better, commit to giving a ride on a regular basis throughout any treatments treatments.
13. Let them know you're "on call" for emergencies. - Mean it. There's nothing worse than feeling like you don't have anyone to rely on in an emergency.
14. Order take-out and have it delivered. - If they seem too overwhelmed to make any decisions, about what they would like, just get a sense of their dietary preferences and pick out a nice meal to send.
15. Gift a magazine, newspaper or even box subscription. - This can be a nice way, to make the life of someone chronically ill a little entertaining. Often we will not spend anything on ourselves, as we are caught up paying for our treatments, appointments and medication.
16. Gift a good book. - This can be extremely helpful, for when we are bed or house bound, or any friends who are admitted to hospital for treatment.
17. Tell them you love and care about them. Even if they don't have the energy to respond, your message means a lot and can often be the only positive thing they see or experience that day.
18. Understand that someone chronically ill is probably too overwhelmed to ask for what they need - take the initiative and offer specifics, don't just say, "Let me know if there's anything I can do for you."
19. Remember to still be there a few months after the diagnosis - It's no longer new, but your friend will still be struggling and needing logistical and emotional help.
20. Does your friend have a dog? Offer to come by and take them for a walk, to the vet, or groomers
21. Does your friend have kids? Offer to babysit, do a school pick-up, help with homework or have them over for a sleepover.
22. Say, "Give me a task." - Maybe it will be laundry, picking up groceries, or a random errand.
23. Does your friend have a garden? Offer to come by and do some watering and care.
24. Buy a monthly parking pass for family members when your friend has a prolonged hospitalisation - hospital parking gets expensive, and this is an extremely thoughtful gift both for your friend, and their family.
25. Gift a super comfy blanket or pillow. There is nothing better than a good blanket or pillow for when you're bed or house bound, and even when you're in hospital. Sometimes having your own blanket or pillow, makes the hospitalisation easier.
26. Just listen. - Don't give advice, don't try to be super positive. Just listen and let your friend talk. We sometimes will keep everything we're feeling locked up tight, and having someone listen when we let it all out makes it so much easier.
27. Ask what they need from you most right now - And Do it. So often I've had people ask me what I need when I'm at a bout of my worst health wise. They then don't do it.. It doesn't make much sense to ask for no reason.
28. Most Chronic Illnesses aren't contagious - give your friend a hug to let them know you're there for them. A lot of the time people will stop having any physical contact with us, and it becomes a little depressing. Hugs give us a huge amount of comfort.
29. Make a CD/USB of music for them. - Creating a CD or USB of music you know your friend will love, to listen to whenever they need is one of the sweetest gifts I have been given since becoming chronically ill. It shows you not only care, but know what music will make their day better.
30. Believe their Diagnosis. - It's so hurtful when friends and family don't believe your diagnosis. It can make us feel crazy, because that's implying all our symptoms are in our head. Having people believe us makes moving forward in treatment, and our own understanding a lot easier.
